Ciel's Diary
by DarkHallows1000
Summary: Sebastian finds the young master's journal. He starts reading it everytime he has the chance to dig into deep dark secrets that no one knows but Ciel. Not even Elizabeth knows (they are no longer engaged). Ciel's turning 18 in a week and Sebastian reads his diary to make his life more incredible. Wanna know secrets of Ciel Phantomhive, be careful what you wish for.
1. Entry One: First Off

**Ciel's diary **

**First entry**

Late afternoon on a Tuesday night, Sebastian needed to organize the young master's room. Young master was doing an assignment for violin lessons. The demon butler went into Ciel Phantomhive's room with a messy bed and dust on the dressers. He sighed at the wrok to be done, and soon enough he got started. When the bed was finished, the nightstand needed dusting.

"Oh Master," he sighed to himself when the cleaning began. After dusting was organizing drawers. He opened the first drawer and noticed papers scattered on top of some books. He pulled them out, his red eyes glancing to a new book. It was the color of dark navy blue with silver lettering. Reminding Sebastian silver was the color to the angels then snorted. The curious butler lifted the book up with his gloved hands. Slowly he ran his fingertips over the silver lettering that printed "Ciel's, Private". Sebastian's lips curled to a smirk at the word "Private". The cover opened under his fingers ad read another cover page in neat writing, "This belongs to Ciel Phantomhive".

"Maybe you can practice writing your terrible German speaking in here," he muttered, sighing. He turned the page to more of Ciel's writing. "Cursive in a diary? No wonder it's been getting better." He grinned and read slyly to himself.

**"Journal Entry Number One**

**Date October 03, 1883**

**What was the deal with my butler Sebastian today? He got too close to me when I was bathing in the tub the other day. The odd part was, my heart was beating rapidly to the point I needed him to get out…"**

"His heart was beating fast because I was...there?" Sebastian tilted his head and continued to read.

**I told him to move out of my way so I could dry myself. I stumbled with the towel around my slim waist. It came off with my cheeks then burning up into a heated red. I looked away from the demon. His red eyes looking into mine, nearing me. I pushed him off, my whole face burning up like a heated furnace. He didn't understand why I couldn't have him near me. I was naked. In the bathroom. With him. I then got up, wrapped the towel around me, and then disappeared to my clothing. I hadn't dressed myself in years because of Sebastian. He's been so good to me all these years in my time of need. I haven't thanked him yet I should. I mustn't. What would I be of a master then?**

Sebastian's own cheeks were flooding up with red and heat, his heart pounding inside his chest. He leaned back so far, he collapsed on the master's bed. His eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling of what he just had read. "The master…feels something for me…" He shook his head and took the journal over his face and continued to read the entry.

**Anyways, I did find myself growing closer to my butler without realizing it. Could there be possible feelings for him that I don't understand? My 18th birthday was coming soon, I should be able to comprehend my own feelings, should I not? Maybe someday I'll confess to my butler. This is the first time I've ever kept a journal. A real live journal. Before everything was on pieces and bits of paper of how I felt. It is nice knowing this will be kept a secret where no one will read. If anyone did, then what would they do? I would kill whoever did, making Sebastian do the dirty work of course. Something deep inside just burns in my soul at the sound of "Sebastian". I could say it all day, and it would not be enough for me. He's so naïve sometimes. Those deep red eyes. Long soft black hair. Soft and muscular skin. It would be a miracle if he'd ever lay his…**

The butler stopped himself before the other words ahead in the journal entry. He never felt his heart race so fast now. He loved his master's big blue eyes. He had grown tall over the years and yet being a demon meant so much to Sebastian. Demons never die unless killed by angels. They are ageless yet they grow up to a certain age where they stay that age for eternity. For instance, Sebastian grew up to be 28. He stopped growing and aging as what humans do. Reapers do the same except grow out more white hairs and it's more possible for them to die than of demons. Sebastian shook his head and his eyes couldn't look away from the next words…

**…lips to connect with my lips. His piercing sweet seductive smell. I could pull him any day without him knowing what I was planning. I've gotten him to dance with me. I told him I needed to learn how to dance more of a gentlemen in case I was to be engaged or find a nice woman. It would be a demon woman, I would suppose. The true meaning? To seduce him into my trap of wonders. Make him melt in my arms though I'm younger than he is. I always will be. He's over a thousand years old yet looks 28. He's my angel (he's really a demon, figure of speech). He's saved me from whom I once was and who I will be. So for that, I will thank Sebastian in my heart and in my words. He won't ever know the true feelings I have for such a person. He's the most amazing person I will ever know…**

Water started forming in Sebastian's eyes as he read the last paragraph and wiped them away with his fingertip of his pointer finger. He closed the book and set inside the drawer. In a dash, he finished cleaning the whole room without a second glance. He was so fast but this time, he would take his time. He cleaned perfectly. He cooked perfectly. Somehow, pleased his master perfectly. He knew deep in his heart his young master appreciated everything the demon did. Ciel was going to be 18 in a week or so. He loved to celebrate the master's birthday. His master would soon see how much Sebastian could prove himself of being one hell of a butler...


	2. Entry Two: Bitter Sweet

**Entry Two**

A new day dawning at the manor, Sebastian just finished with breakfast. He glanced at himself in the mirror, with a smile he strolled off. Soon enough, he had breakfast all set with the sun shining. He checked his watch and blinked then walked to the master's room to wake him.

Sebastian gently knocked at the master's door. A small voice replied to the demon butler so the butler let himself inside. Ciel was sitting on his bed with a small notebook and pen in hand. He didn't look up from his writing when Sebastian started making tea.

"Young master?" Sebastian addressed.

"Yes?" No eye contact was made.

"Would you like to get dressed and have your tea?" the butler asked. He poured some into a cup for Ciel.

Ciel nodded and kept writing.

"What are you writing if I may ask?" Sebastian finally asked. Ciel looked up with raised eyebrows and a dashing smile.

"Oh nothing of your concern, Sebastian," the master said.

Sebastian nodded, understanding. "Here's your tea sir." He handed his master the cup as Ciel placed the book and pen down. The demon saw perfect penmanship on the pages in the notebook. Both master and butler took one second of eye contact then looked away. "Master?"

One sip. "Yes Sebastian?" Two sips.

Sebastian started to think how to approach the next sentence. He went for it anyway. "For your birthday next week," he started off.

"No birthday. Ever. You know that perfectly well," Ciel snapped.

Sebastian bowed his head. "I know perfect well but sir-"

Ciel butted, "No buts Sebastian. None."

Sebastian's red eyes glistened from underneath his black hair. He nodded then looked up. "Of course Master."

"Get me dressed," Ciel ordered. The butler nodded, took the cup, then undressed his master. Ciel's eyes were calm as Sebastian followed orders. "Why are you feeling my skin so much this morning?"

A gentle smirk appeared across Sebastian's face. "No reason." He noticed his young master's skin getting slight shivers with bumps on his arms.

"What are you hiding?" the master demanded when his pants went on. He was then finished getting dressed. Sebastian stood and started walking out. "Don't you dare walk out!" the butler stopped.

"Sorry Master," was all that was said.

"Does it matter?" Ciel's voice had deepened over the years with maturing along the way. Sebastian got shivers as well.

"I would assume so. Especially from my master." Sebastian once again gave off a smirk with dazzling eyes.

"Sebastian, what did you do?"

The butler turned. "Are you suspecting me of a crime?" shock hinted in his voice.

Ciel shrugged. "Depends. What did you do?"

"Nothing my master," Sebastian replied, bowed his respects, and then left the room. He cleaned out the cup Ciel was drinking from and went back to the master with his breakfast in bed. Sebastian noticed Ciel was gone with the notebook on his bed, opened. _Young master, how you do tempt me._ He smirked and set aside the tray with food and went to the notebook. His eyes searching around a corner and saw no one. "Where is he?" he asked himself. Sebastian sat on Ciel's bed and grinned.

"Sebastian!" was called from the dining hall when the notebook was picked up. Sebastian sighed and put it into a drawer with the pen. He took the tray and hurried off to the dining hall. Then he set the tray in front of his master with pleasure, bowing his head in respects to Ciel. Ciel gave a slight nod of thanks. "Did you touch it?"

Sebastian titled his head. "Touch what?"

The master took one bite of his breakfast and finished eating that bite before speaking. "The notebook on my bed."

"No, of course not. I just put it into the drawer of your nightstand."

"The pen?"

"With the notebook."

Ciel's eyes moved to the corner of his eyes and watched the butler with suspension, not amused. "Did you read anything?"

"No sir."

"Good." He kept eating the meal that Sebastian had prepared for him then finished. Sebastian took the dishes to the kitchen and cleaned them as Ciel was getting ready for lessons all day. Sebastian sighed.

He was talking to himself as he cleaned. "Wonder what he dreamt about. He rarely tells me anymore. He used to tell me every nightmare and now he's grown, he doesn't seem to want to. Have I been a loss of interest?" Sebastian shrugged and dried the dishes off and rolled his sleeves back down, his gloves back on, and put his jacket back on. He walked to the master's work room where he was doing some work for lessons. Sebastian put on his glasses when he entered the room on time.

"Hello Sebastian," Ciel greeted as he worked.

"May I help you with anything or should I do my afternoon chores?" Sebastian asked.

Ciel looked up. "Go do some chores. I'll be fine, it's only math right now." Sebastian nodded and excused himself from the room. He grinned when he exited.

Sebastian whispered, "I'll go see what I really _can _do for my young master…" He smiled softly and kept walking…


	3. Entry Three: Keeping Secrets

_If you cannot read the font of Ciel's entries, please leave a review to change the font and I will!_

**Entry Three**

As the day wore on, Sebastian was doing druggy chores to keep himself busy. He was taking his time on them more than usual, and the master started to get suspicious. The butler finally reached Ciel's room to clean it, dust it, and organize it. He wished the master wouldn't get too curious and be there, waiting. Just as he thought, there was Ciel on his bed, writing in the notebook with silver engraving. Sebastian bowed at the presence of his master, smiling.

"Sebastian, why are you cleaning my room again?" Ciel asked in a detached voice.

"Your bed, sir," Sebastian replied, his hand over his chest in respect.

Ciel looked up for a moment, narrowing his eyes. "Are you hiding something from me? A secret?" He slowly got up and walked towards his butler. His face pressing close to Sebastian's, their noses brushing hard against each other's. Sebastian's breath was caught.

"No Master," Sebastian said softly, his breath going on to Ciel's face. It was so outlined and detailed like his father's. He had grown so much like his father and it made Sebastian proud to serve such a manor. As the years went by, Ciel learned to be less spoiled. Sebastian sighed when Ciel pulled away.

"Why do you sigh?" Ciel's back was turned away.

"Pardon?"

Ciel turned back, facing the butler. "Why did you sigh?"

"No reason, you caught my breath for a moment." That was the truth and the whole truth, that's all that Ciel needed to know for now.

"I should say the same to you," Ciel said to himself then put his notebook away with the pen. He slowly strolled out of the room then when he was gone; Sebastian dusted the parts he missed the other day. It built up over night it seemed as he dusted. After, he made the master's bed.

"I'd wish you truly see…" Sebastian glanced over at the nightstand of Master. He smirked and opened the drawer slowly with the notebook. He sat on the master's bed and ran his fingertips over the lettering. It was so smooth and smelt like Ciel. It was a unique smell and it couldn't be replaced. A small smile appeared on Sebastian's lips as he opened the notebook to the pages he hadn't read. Fresh and newly written handwriting. "Well then…"

Journal Entry Number Two

Date October 04, 1883

It was the way he wakes me up every morning and it's before the sun that he does. I'll be asleep; his hand will brush over my cheek. I'll feel it. My dreams grow sweeter each night I speak with him. He no longer reads me stories like he used to when I was a young boy. I have grown up and proud. This morning, I had woken up before him but I heard him in the kitchen. He always loves to give me breakfast in bed; it's something special for him. I have decided to do more on my own. The only thing is, I cannot live without him. I cannot. It would be too much for me. Sebastian is the special kind of person to me. He has sung me lullabies and they're always unique and his. They're amazing. I miss them. I would never tell him that, I'm his master…He wouldn't even make a move. I've waited so long for him to. Is it time to give up on that?

"Master…please…" Sebastian read the words with shock. He was giving up on Sebastian. The heart of the demon butler was tearing into pieces. He needed to read on to find out how else he could please his young master. "To make him happy…that's all."

My decision has been made…I will not. Love takes time and I found my heart beating when he handed me my tea. His touch is so soft and gentle. I watched him with wondering eyes.

Later~~

I beat Sebastian to my bedroom and I believe he'll be surprised that I am here. Will he be? I decided to pretend to be angry with him and curious he's been up to something. I mean, seriously, he's been doing more around the manor. He's been truly impressing me. What made him change his mind of being my butler for all of eternity? His red eyes are so deep and I want to be gazing into them all day. I doubt he'll let me…will he? There he is, wish me luck…

"This is what you've been up to. A plan to be mad at me, just to stare into my eyes. Maybe even get a few moves into it?" Sebastian questioned himself. He wanted to leave a note then decided not to. He put the notebook away and lay back on the bed. His tie was now out of place as he did. Now his white shirt was lifting up when his torso was stretched when he lied down.

A small whisper came from the door ways when Sebastian closed his eyes. "Sebastian?" The red eyes of the demon popped right open in shock.


	4. Entry Four: Notice Me

**Entry Four**

"Sebastian! Sebastian!" was being screeched from the hallway that night. Sebastian jerked away from sleeping on Ciel's bed. He had passed out from cleaning so much in two days. Quickly and swiftly, the butler almost ran to his master. He made it, panting slightly from a long nap on his own master's bed. How selfish and disgraceful.

"Yes Young lord?"

"Why were you asleep on my bed?" Ciel growled with the softest eyes.

"Master I did not-"

Ciel interrupted, raising his hand. "And to think I can trust you. Have you no shame?"

He bowed to his master with no reply.

"What are you to do?" the young lord sighed.

"Beg for my forgiveness." Was sweet and short.

"How will you do that?" Sebastian slowly walked to Ciel's desk. Ciel's cheeks started to grow a reddish pink. The butler smirked then laid a hand on Ciel's cheek without permission.

"How would you like me to?" his voice soft and slightly shaky. "My master." He saw Young master shiver with Sebastian's gentle soothing voice. Sebastian leaned closer, his forehead leaning against his master's, both of their eyes meeting in the middle of it all. Sebastian took his hand to his lips, his teeth clamping onto his gloved fingertips. His tongue rubbing along it when his glove slowly slipped off his hand. The coldness of the air resting on his fingers once it went back to Ciel Phantomhive's cheek.

"Your hands are so cold," he whispered to his loyal butler. Sebastian nodded.

"Yes I know." He gave off a gentle and reassuring smirk when he continued to lean closer into Ciel's private space which was never announced he couldn't or could. He decided to risk that chance. Once more, he pushed closer, their lips brushing slightly against one another. "I also know you've been waiting on a certain move from me. Isn't that what you want?" He asked softly, his breath going on Ciel's face. It was a minty smell that pleasured the both of them.

"Y-Yes, how did you know?" He slurred.

"Oh come on now Master, please don't stammer. You mustn't slur your words." Sebastian was losing it on the inside, never letting his heart skip more than what it should. His breath stayed even once Ciel's soft thinned lips touched his.

"Forgive me Sebastian," Ciel whispered, his hands placing on the butler's neck. They were so close. If only Sebastian get Ciel to write more into greater detail exactly what he needed in his life. It seemed so boring to him. The demon knew exactly what temptations were taunting the young master.

"You are." Sebastian pulled away. "Shall I get you some tea?" He returned quickly to his normal butler self. Divine. Absolutely divine.

In a trance, Ciel clicked out of it all. He glanced up at his butler who was now having his hand behind his back, as usual, and eyes soft. "Sebastian…" His breath had been taken away and couldn't get his heart to settle. "Get me my notebook in my nightstand with the pen that rests there." Sebastian nodded and took off. He did so in an orderly fashion without opening it.

"Thank you." Ciel nodded his thanks and shooed Sebastian out to make some afternoon tea. "And maybe some lunch as well!" he called out once his butler had walked out the door.

He couldn't take it anymore, Sebastian leaned against the wall next to the doors, a few feet away actually, and slid down it. His hand on his chest, feeling his racing heart. Even for a demon, this wasn't natural. He needed to get Ciel to give into the temptation. He needed to kiss him somehow and in some way without his master knowing what the butler was secretly up to. So, as ordered, he got up and went to the kitchen.

BOOM! His red eyes got wide from down the hall away from the kitchen. He then narrowed them in annoyance. His heart went back to beating to a normal state. _Bard, you idiot_. Sebastian thought, shaking his head, then entered the kitchen with an annoyed attitude. Bard was there with Finnian who was panicking.

"Settle down, Finny. Everything is just dandy," Bard replied, full of black smoke. The whole kitchen was a mess from the explosion.

"Oh 'ello Sebastian!" Finny waved happily and nervously.

"What in the world are you doing?" Sebastian asked sternly.

Bard scratched the back of his head with a piece of long grass in his mouth. Sebastian snatched it out from his teeth, glaring. "We…were…uh…cooking."

"Yeah cooking!" Finny assured.

"This disaster is not cooking, you filthy runts!" Sebastian growled. His red eyes turning more to a blood red than usual. "Get your asses out of this bloody damn kitchen!" The two saluted and walked out. Bard was rubbing his jaw which snapped down when Sebastian snatched the grass from his mouth. Sebastian sighed with relief and walked to the pots and pans. He cleaned up the mess in a jiffy and went to work on lunch. In no time, he finished lunch for his young master. He brought it to Ciel who was busy writing in his notebook.

"Hello Master," Sebastian greeted with a smile. Ciel dipped his pen in the ink and kept writing without a word. "I have your usual tea with chicken and mushroom soup. I know it's plain but Bard blew up-"

"No need for explanation. I heard it from here." Ciel didn't even look up when he interrupted his butler rudely. Sebastian stayed silent and nodded. He served his master, both in silence.

_If I could get a sneak peek young Master… _Sebastian leaned a little when he served his master tea, seeing some words in there. He kept in a gasp with his widen eyes.

I love him...but he doesn't seem to love me…


	5. Entry Five: Sweet Runaway

**Entry Five**

Sebastian sat with his master in the bedroom as Ciel wrote in his little journal once more. The butler felt ignored and abandoned by the little notebook. He sighed when he poured the night tea, Ciel didn't pay any attention to Sebastian that day. He felt alone and the master felt empty when their hands touched. There were no longer sparks flying through their veins.

"Sebastian," Ciel finally addressed.

"Yes?" He had sat down to read the young lord a story. His red eyes got wide when Ciel gave him a glare.

"Out." Ciel put his notebook in the drawer along with the pen. Sebastian looked down at his black pants, clutching them tightly. The book fell as he stood up, nodding understandingly.

"Of course Master," Sebastian whispered, feeling his voice crack. Ciel went underneath his covers, snuggling up. He tugged his blankets purposely over his head, Sebastian watched. He blew out Ciel's nightstand candle then walked out with his, clutching on his jacket when he left. Ciel's voice had turned cold and harsh lately. "Is something stressing you Master?" he whispered to himself. Then went into his dark bedroom alone, blowing out his candle to sleep…

Next morning, Sebastian woke before the sunrise as always by himself. He got dressed quickly to make the master his breakfast in bed. Slowly and carefully, he brought it to the bed. Ciel was still asleep so Sebastian opened the curtains. He smiled and glanced to the bed.

"Master?" He ran to the bedside, only pillows and an extra stuffed under the covers to make it look like Ciel was there. Sebastian uncovered the whole bed, only to find the pillows and a blanket. He sat on the bed, burying his face in his cold hands. "I've failed…" He then looked over to see a note being half being sat on. "Huh?" He picked it up, unfolding it, and then reading the letter.

**Sebastian-**

**You may have found me away from my bed and my room with pillows and a blanket disguising as my body. I must reassure you not to worry that I am safe and this was not you. You did not do anything wrong, it was me. You may be thinking that it was, I know you are. Sebastian, you are a dear friend and has done well with everything.**

"But master…you ran off," Sebastian kept reading the ransom note.

**I ran away because I felt conflicted, we were growing apart. I had written in my journal and that seemed to upset you. I stopped letting you read me bedtime stories for I am turning eighteen. Please forgive me. You will never find me. I'm sorry Sebastian. I tried loving you the best I could, but you never saw it…So as Alois would do… I love you Sebastian! I love you! Say you'll love me…Good bye my sweet butler…**

**Yours truly,**

**Ciel Phantomhive**

"Ciel!" Sebastian shouted out, getting up quickly. The note slipped from his fingertips, feeling it slightly slice through his gloves. Slowly he walked to the nightstand to retrieve the notebook for any more clues or feelings of his master. His eyes widened. "He took it!" There was another piece of paper there. "Hmm?" He picked it up, unfolding it, and then read it.

**If you looked in here and found this note, I knew you have been reading my journal, Sebastian. How dare you look into my privacy and invade it! You could have asked me personal questions but you had to read my journal? How could you? Sebastian Michaelis, do NOT come looking for me. If you do, you will get an order to never come near me again. Don't you dare try to let me give into your sly demon temptations.**

**Ciel—**

Sebastian read the words over and over, his heart tearing at the words "do NOT come looking for me" in the letter. He shook his head. _Was this an order? _Sebastian asked himself in his thoughts. His eyes going to the window with the curtains open to the sun shining through. It had only been ten to fifteen minutes without his loved master and it was torture. The butler soon started walking out of the room with the second note crumbling in his fist. "Master…" He started feeling his voice cracking. His eyes in a mist and heart tearing, ripping into shreds. "My master…" He dropped the crumbled note on to the ground, almost throwing it. "Ciel," he whispered. "My lovely Ciel…" He kept whispering the name over and over. It was like an angel had given Sebastian wings on his heart to find such a worthy soul.

"Ciel…Ciel…come back," Sebastian whispered again. His eyes started to get mistier and his vision getting blurred from the water in his eyes. He took a finger under his eye lid and looked at the small drop of water. "What…the…?" He stared down at his finger, watching the water run down his finger. He took his tongue to it, jumping his tongue back in disgust. "Too salty!" He then thought for a moment. "Am I…crying over Ciel?" His eyes started getting misty once more. He wiped them hard, feeling them get irritated from rubbing them. He collapsed on Ciel's bed, putting his head in his hands. "What do I do without you?"


	6. Entry Six: Lost

**Entry Six**

"What do I do without you?" Sebastian mumbled to himself. He kept his head in his hands, letting the water drop from his eyes. The tearing from his heart kept coming, and his heart felt smaller. His eyes scrolled up to the nervous breathing in front of him. It was all three of the servants. Their eyes in water.

"Sebastian is cryin' too!" Mey-rin stated.

"I knew he could, he could have." Finnian dried his eyes with his sleeves.

Sebastian glared. "What is crying? Finnian, don't use your sleeve for something so unnatural. How did you know I would do this crying?" His questions were starting to confuse the other three. He sighed.

Mey-rin stepped up. "Why, it's when you're lonely and sad, salty water drips from your eyes. Right now, you're crying." She started taking off her glasses. Sebastian's red eyes met her golden-brown eyes. He saw she was in tears, her eyes a tad red. Being a demon, he never cried nor heard of crying.

"How did Finnian know about me doing such a thing?" He asked. He saw humans cry but never knew exactly what it was. Ciel always made Sebastian happy and felt wanted. The two had a deep connection, now, it felt wasted.

"The master and you had a deep connection. Both of you looked…" He stopped, thinking of what word to use.

"In love?" Bard stepped in.

Finnian snapped his fingers, nodding. "Yeah, that's it!"

Sebastian looked at the servants with a blank expression.

"Look like he is!" Bard replied.

"Aye," Finny agreed, nodding.

The butler shooed at them, sighing. He stood up, his eyes still misted. "Do your chores. I have to go," he ordered to them. They nodded, bowed, and then walked out. The demon watched them go with narrowed eyes. Few seconds after they left, Sebastian jumped on the window sill and then out. His hair waved past his eyes when he seemed to fly through the air. His feet touching the tips of the trees just barely.

He looked around through the trees, the master couldn't have reached far. He soon found a moving object and leaped towards it. He landed a few feet away from the traveler, perfect landing. The person glanced up with blue eyes.

"Master?" Sebastian addressed, bowing his head.

Ciel seemed to growl at his butler. "Sebastian!" he snapped, eyes glaring. He looked so much like his father every time.

The butler looked into the now flaming red eyes. Sebastian widened his from Ciel's reaction. "Master…"

"What have I told you through the note?" Ciel demanded. He looked lost and confused on his run away.

"Not to find you," Sebastian answered.

"Exactly," his master mumbled.

Sebastian tried taking a step forward to his master.

Ciel stepped back away from Sebastian. "Get back!" his eyes angry but hurt. "Get back Sebastian!" Ciel ordered, his butler stopped in his steps. He saw his master growling and clenching his teeth, jaw tightening.

"But Master-" Sebastian tried talking.

Ciel's hair fell in his face as he looked at the ground. "You failed."

"May I ask at what?"

"You should know!" he blurted, a small crack in his tone.

"Reading your diary?"

"Journal!" his master corrected.

"Not being able to love you like I should have?"

Bingo. "Exactly. Now, go back to the mansion!" Sebastian nodded.

"Yes my young lord," Sebastian replied, bowing in respect. He started to back away, turning away from his master. He didn't want to feel his eyes grow misty again. He clenched his tightened fist to his chest. He repeated the phrase in his head. _Yes my young lord…_ over and over again until it grew tiring. He only took one step forward away from Ciel. He then turned back to see his master walking away into the forest, going deeper and deeper in.

"Sebastian…" the demon could hear the voice of his young master.

"Don't leave…master…" He wanted to scream it out like he should but held himself back. Then without another glance back, Sebastian turned and walked slowly back to the mansion. His eyes going to the corner, seeing if he could see Ciel run back to him with open arms. "Like he used to…when he knew…only if he could…" He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Tomorrow is the master's birthday…we should at least try to celebrate the occasion," he told himself and reached the path to the manor.


	7. Entry Seven: Stranger Danger

**Entry Seven **

Sebastian was surprisingly doing his normal routine while the other servants were in a deep depression with the master's retreating. The demon butler knew that he had to keep things running and would stay out of the young master's hair. Hopefully Ciel would grow tired of doing everything himself and not like it. Sebastian knew that fact but was unsure that it would come true.

"Oh Master…" Sebastian peered at a picture of the butler and the young man now grown on Ciel's work desk. Sebastian found himself looking at old reports from the queen to her loyal guard dogs and read them to himself. He widened his eyes at the latest one. He read it carefully about two to three times each, making sure every word was right. "Ciel…" He whispered to himself. The way the note read, Ciel had to do this one on his own without the help of his loyal servants, including his butler. "This must be a mistake," Sebastian told himself. He got up and started pacing the room. "Why would the queen allow such a drastic thing to go through to him?"

His thumb started rubbing at his chin in confusion, wondering what exactly he could do. A loop hole, a secret, or anything at that matter. He needed to get his master back home with his servants and most importantly, Sebastian. Soon, the butler went out from the office with the letter in his hand and found the servants in the dining hall. They all looked gloomy with food on the table. It was burnt, of course, but still it laid on the table where the master used to sit.

"What are you three doing exactly?" Sebastian asked with curiosity.

"Oh nothing sir," Meyrin replied with a sad voice.

Sebastian lifted one eyebrow up, suspicious. "Why's there Bard's burnt food on the table where the young master used to sit?"

"Oh young master!" They all cried out, their heads lifted to the ceiling, bawling out their eyes with tears. Sebastian sighed.

"Get rid of this!" Sebastian ordered, waving at it with disgust.

"What shall we do with it then, Sebastian?" Finny asked.

"Give it to Pluto or throw it out in the woods to the bears. Whatever you wish to do with it, I don't want it in my sight!" Sebastian almost hurled, covering his mouth with his gloved hand. He cleared his throat and turned away from the three other servants. His eyes shut as he spoke to them, "I'm going out."

"Out where?" Finny asked as he helped clean the table.

Sebastian didn't answer and didn't want to. "Do your duties right and carefully. I don't want to find the mansion in flames when I come back. Good day." He nodded and walked away from them. Once the doors had closed behind him, the butler covered his eyes again. He stared down at his own feet. "Master…why have you done this? Something isn't right here," Sebastian whispered. He decided to ignore Ciel's orders in years for the first time. He continued down the hallways of the manor to the doors of outside, he flew them open. The sunlight beamed down on his pale skin and black hair, his coat waving in the slight breeze.

"I'm coming for you, master," Sebastian reassured himself. Then with a dust of wind, he ran off.

Hours went by before any sign of his master, only footprints in the dusty path with mud puddles and just dirt. Sebastian carried on in search of his young master with awe of all the beauty of the forest. He slowed down his pace to a steady walk, seeing certain markings. He narrowed his eyes to find several spider-webs around him, he clenched his jaw tight.

"This isn't possible," he told himself and kept walking with ease. More and more spider-webs with Ciel's exact shoe size in the dirt of the path. "Master?" He squinted his eyes to the dark figure ahead of him. He quickened his pace and found the figure had stopped walking. It slowly turned its body slightly. Still, the butler didn't know what or who it was from the distance. He slowed his pace to let the figure know he was no harm. "Hello?" He called out.

No reply.

"Hello?" Again.

Still no movement or reply. As Sebastian slowly got closer, the figure was in a long coat with the collar up high. There was a hat to cover the identity of the person if he was closer to the figure. The stranger groaned. "Why are you here?" It was a deeper voice than expected and sounded like the figure was hiding who they really were.

"I'm in search for my master," Sebastian replied with honesty, bowing his respects.

"No need for bowing," the figure replied. "I'm in search for mine as well. Want to help me? I'm in hope he is not dead."

Sebastian's eyes grew soft and walked close to the figure who straightened up their collar so the butler couldn't see any chin or facial expressions.

"May I ask for your name?"

"Sebastian, and yours?"

The figure paused for a moment. "My name is not worth your time. You will think less of me."

"No worries for that." Sebastian gave a soft smile with face happy as he could make it.

The person nodded and replied, "Very well, I know you question my identity." The man sighed as the two began to walk. "I lost my master during a terrible time. I knew I had to find him, so I sent him a letter to meet me here. He saw me and fled. He kept running and pacing through the trees. I lost track of him."

Sebastian nodded, listening to the story. "Yes."

"I kept looking for him but he never answered my calls or cries out to him. I believe he must be afraid of spiders. Any reason, do you think for that?"

"Well, must have been during earlier childhood with one. There's several decent reasons, but I wouldn't know of the true reason," the demon butler told the stranger. "By the way, when are you going to tell me your name or your master's?"

"My master's name shall not be revealed. It could damage our relationship. Sides I don't want to hurt his heart," the stranger answered. "My name?" He took a finger up to his covered face, did something with pushing his middle finger to about his nose, then put his hand to his side. He chuckled then looked at Sebastian with still a hidden face. He reached his hand out to Sebastian. "It's Claude."


	8. Entry Eight: Return with Me

Entry Eight

"Claude!" the two were now distant from now knowing each other's names. Claude took off his coat with dramatic expressions. It flew to the ground along with the hat. "Why are you here?" Sebastian growled.

"I've told you Sebastian," he replied, pushing his glasses up with his middle finger. Claude's golden eyes were calm and emotionless.

Sebastian snorted. "Alois is dead, Claude. I thought I killed you." His red eyes were now flaming up with anger.

"Lucifer decided to keep me around, I am a spider and more easily to be afraid of," Claude explained. He gave off a smirk. "Ravens, on the other hand-"

"Shut up!" Sebastian interrupted. "Shut your damn bloody mouth." He was losing it and fists clenching.

"My master is Ciel now," Claude simple said and took off running. Sebastian let out a sigh.

"Should have held it in Sebastian," he told himself then took off. His feet started racing across the jagged rocky path, catching up to the spider demon. He ran up side by side with Clause, who was grinning.

"He's mine, you stupid raven," Claude spat.

"My master wouldn't let you be his loyal butler," Sebastian growled.

At first, Claude didn't reply then sped up and leaving Sebastian to be caught in a web. He stopped, spitting out the web caught in his mouth. His fingers were now picking out the sticky substance.

"Damn him. Damn spiders," he muttered. He continued to walk.

**SPLASH!**

"Agh!" Water splashed in his face then looked around. His hair dripping down into his eyes, and his clothes clinging to his body. His eyes started to search everywhere for what could have caused the splashing. "Hmm?" He looked at his feet, noticing a small notebook by his foot.

"Leave it!" a cry came out from the sides. Sebastian turned, scanning the forest.

"Who's there in the bushes?" He waited. "Show yourself!" He waited a few moments before bending down to pick up the notebook.

"Don't touch it!" the voice called out again. Sebastian didn't listen and picked it up anyways. "Stop or I'll-"

"You'll what?"" Sebastian brushed off the mud and dust that was on the notebook. He gave a small smirk when he saw the lettering on the notebook. "Not let me be a butler? I'm afraid that won't work out."

No reply or movement.

"Come out young master. Stop being foolish and childish. This game isn't worth any of your or my time." Slowly as Sebastian spoke, his master appeared. His blue eyes mad and furious. Sebastian gave a gentle look and smile to his master. "There you are…"

Ciel rushed up to his butler, swiping his notebook out of Sebastian's hand, and then turned away. He clutched the book to his chest, sighing. "Sebastian…"

"I'm sorry Master; I couldn't help not seeing you. It's your 18th birthday; wouldn't you like to spend it with your family?" Sebastian placed his hand on Ciel's shoulder gently.

He shrugged off the gentle touch from his loyal butler. "No. That's not what I was going to say. Let me finish."

No answer came from Sebastian. He remained silent as ordered to. He bowed his head even though Ciel couldn't see.

"You saw Claude, I'm guessing?"

"Yes."

"Stay away from him and he will stay away from you. The only thing though Sebastian…" There was a long silence after saying the raven's name.

Sebastian waited for his master to finish his order. "Master-"

Ciel turned towards his butler; eyes closed, and then slowly opened them. "I have made a contract with Claude…" he threw his notebook at Sebastian, the butler caught it. He watched, dumbfounded by his master's statement. Ciel brushed his finger along Sebastian's jawline, Sebastian sighed.

"Why are you acting so absurd?" Sebastian asked quietly.

His master just gave off a small and gentle smirk, referring back to the notebook by pointing to it. It was being held tightly to Sebastian's chest, who had widened red eyes.

"Master!" Ciel had gripped on Sebastian's chin, pulling the butler close to his master. Their eyes on each other deeply. Sebastian's eyes grew softer as well as his voice. "Master…" The 18 year old pulled his demon butler closer, their lips barely touching.

"Say you'll never betray me," Ciel whispered.

"Of course my young lord." The two pulled away then walked down the path back to the mansion.


	9. Entry Nine: New Butler

**Entry Nine**

"Sebastian!" That night, Ciel had arranged a get-together-at-the-last-possible-second, and Sebastian was preparing food, muttering to himself. He turned down the heat on the oven then walked to his master. "Sebastian!" His name kept getting called, so his pace quickened. He opened up the bedroom doors.

The raven demon stood in shock at his master. "Claude!" he growled. Claude was by Ciel's feet, massaging the soles of the young lord. "Master, why did you make a contract with him?" Sebastian glared his red eyes at the spider. Claude only pushed his glasses up while Ciel stood up.

"You wouldn't want to know my loyal butler." Ciel walked close to Claude, running his fingertips on the golden-eyed butler's jawline.

"To make me jealous? Or the same reason you made one with me?" Sebastian questioned.

"Since we are all demons, it was nearly impossible to ask such a thing. But with the will of Claude, he offered to be my second butler. We never made a contract, my dead Sebastian. We each deserve to spend time with each other. As you can see, Sebastian, I don't have a new contract symbol," Ciel explained.

A new emotion started to stir inside Sebastian, growling through clenched teeth. He knew all he wanted was Ciel to himself, and Claude wasn't helping with his spider eyes on Ciel's blue eyes. The spider kept scanning his fingers down the master's neck and arm. Master didn't seem to pull or didn't want to pull away.

"Master, what did you need me for exactly?" Sebastian muttered.

"Claude needs a tour of the manor. Show him around." Ciel turned away from both butlers. When they hadn't moved a muscle, Ciel sighed. "That was an order Sebastian!"

Sebastian bowed and walked out with Claude. The door slammed behind them, and Sebastian walked at a quick pace back to the kitchen.

"What was that?" Claude asked calmly. He kept up with Sebastian quite well. Sebastian went into the kitchen in silence, ignoring Claude's question. Again, it was asked, "Sebastian, what was the act about?"

"What act?" He stirred some mixing, not looking up.

"I know you're jealous of me. I was pleasing your master, which you fail at, surprisingly," Claude kept talking. Sebastian only kept baking and cooking for the party. "Sebastian, are you ignoring me?" Claude stood behind Sebastian, helping with stirring. Sebastian paused as their bodies brushed along one another and hands touching, almost holding each other. Claude's breath on Sebastian's neck, and the first reaction to the raven was to freeze.

He glared at Claude's touch of the wrists. "Let go of me Claude." The spider didn't listen. "Are you ignoring me now?"

"You did it first, it's only fair," Claude replied, slightly turning his hips to make Sebastian come closer. Sebastian kept glaring from the corner of his eye, trying to pull away. He sighed, putting down the mixture. "I'll stop if you show me around this ruined place." Again, the spider's breath went on Sebastian's neck, sending shivers of the cold up his spine.

"Fine. Let go." Claude did so. Sebastian walked out the kitchen, realizing Claude didn't follow. He turned back and waved his hand for Claude to follow.

The tour ended slower than Sebastian intended it to, he was glad it did end. Claude was getting on his nerves, and Ciel hadn't called either of them over the hour of torture. Both butlers went back into the kitchen, finished cooking the food, and set up for the party. Still no sign of the master of the manor. Sebastian started to get worried, _maybe he was writing in that damn notebook?_

"Oh well," Sebastian sighed. He glanced around the main room, finished. Claude made it easier to finish earlier. "I'm going to check on my master. Check to see if any guests arrive early," Sebastian ordered to Claude then walked out.

Just as the raven butler predicted, Ciel was in his office, writing in his notebook. _Shall I say damn notebook at that? _He thought, glaring then smiled at his master. "Master, would you like to help me dress you for your party?" No reply. Ciel dipped his pen in the ink and kept writing. "Excuse me, Master?" _Damn notebook. _Still no reply. "Master, put your damn pen down and listen!" Sebastian had raised his voice, glaring. Ciel startled, dropped his pen, and then looked up with widened eyes.

"S-Sebatian, how dare you raise your voice to your master!" He slurred. Sebastian ignored it and walked close to his young master. He placed both his large cold hands on the cheeks of Ciel. Their faces so close.

"I don't care. I just-"he paused, not wanting to say anything more. "I can't lose you to someone like Claude." Ciel seemed to give a gentle chuckle. "What's that for?" His eyes wide in curiosity.

"You don't have to worry Sebastian, I'm always going to put you first," Ciel replied, leaning in close to his butler. Their lips barely touching when Ciel leaned even closer. Sebastian felt his heart start to beat even faster, noticing Ciel's eyes were closing. Sebastian then got naughty and scanned his eyes over to the notebook and saw some words he'd regret.

**He won't ever find out the truth…**


	10. Chapter 10: Cut-off

_My fellow readers, I am so happy you're really enjoying this. It took me by surprise how much this got into a hit! I really love making this and running out of ideas for this. I will try to make it to about Entry 15 or so unless I make it up to anything more. Honestly, I have the party all planned out for Ciel. Hope you enjoy Entry 10. I wrote it after testing for WKAC for Math. Enjoy my lovely fans~~ _

**Entry Ten**

As Sebastian's devious, curious eyes read Ciel's words; he leaned closer and scrolled his eyes back to Master. His master had slowly opened his eyes. The big innocent blue eyes Sebastian deeply loved. He sighed, no longer being able to take it. He pulled away and looked deeply into Ciel's eyes.

"Master?" he addressed. Their lips barely touching.

"Yes Sebastian?" the voice of his master sent shivers up the butler's spine.

He paused then gulped. "I'm sorry. I must go…" He pulled away and walked out of the room, disappointed in himself. He heard faint barking from Pluto. Sebastian sighed and went out to the hound. He felt as if someone was following him so in result, he turned around.

He nodded in hello. "Claude." Claude followed Sebastian with ease. "Why are you following me when you're supposed to be checking for early arrival guests?" Sebastian asked, feeding Pluto with disgust on his face.

"Only Lady Elizabeth is here. She found out about Ciel's eighteenth birthday." He pushed his glasses up. "Knowing he was alive, she searched for him." He paused. "Want me to-?"

"No. Its fine," Sebastian replied then turned to Claude. He had a more gentle and unreadable expression. Claude raised his eyebrows.

"Are you…alright?" the spider heisted.

Sebastian stopped in his tracks; no one had asked him such a bizarre question. Claude stared at the other butler with an emotionless yet calm expression. The two looked at each other then Sebastian walked away into the mansion. Claude paused for a moment then followed the raven. They walked together in silence and went to the noise from down the hall. Sebastian almost ran to his master's side. The screech terrified both butlers for it was a high-pitched sound, piercing through their ears.

As they neared their master's office, the two heard, "Oh Ciel! Now we can get married!"

Sebastian stopped, falling to his knees with his ears covered. Claude didn't ear anymore loud voices, it was all mumbling. He couldn't hear Ciel's words behind closed doors. He knelt beside the raven with concern, sighing.

"We lost our master, Sebastian. What shall we do?"

Sebastian rose to his feet, glaring at the doorway. He looked over at Claude with no emotion at all, or in his tone of voice. "We continue to let in the guests and celebrate the master's birthday." Claude nodded in agreement and the two went to the front doors to invite any guests in.

Later that night, they were all dancing on the dance floor. The music was playing softly as the guests were being entertained by dancing. Sebastian and Claude were off to the side, serving any food to be handed out. The other three servants were passing out refreshments before dinner. Lady Elizabeth and Master Ciel were dancing with each other, talking. The master didn't seem to be enjoying it all.

Carefully, Sebastian walked towards them, he heard Claude gasp in surprise from behind. Sebastian stopped them in their dancing. "Excuse me Lady Elizabeth?"

"Oh hello Sebastian! What can I do for you?" She gave off a gentle smile. Sebastian returned the gesture.

"May I have a dance with my young master? He seems to be a little grumpy tonight on his eighteenth birthday," Sebastian said gently, clenching his teeth when he smiled again. He lent out a hand to Ciel.

Ciel's eyes blared with rage. "Why would I want to dance with my own butler?"

The butler blinked, his smile now gone. "Now Master…I only-"

His master stepped forward. "No Sebastian! Back off!"

Sebastian looked into Ciel's blue eyes still raging with anger. "Master, do not speak-"

"Shut up Sebastian! Just shut up!"

He stayed quiet.

"You had your chance and lost it!" His master turned back to Elizabeth, taking her into his arms. He pulled her in close, glaring at Sebastian. The two leaned in, Ciel kissed the lady hard and without passion. Elizabeth's eyes were wide then slowly calmed when she leaned in. Sebastian stood there, dumbfounded. Ciel kept kissing Lady Elizabeth hard, still no passion. Only revenge.

"Master…" he whispered, nodding his head, staring at his own feet. "I failed you once more…" His voice stayed quiet and kept his head down.


	11. Entry Eleven: Follow Me

_I apologize for such a late, late entry! I was got up in a lot of homework and other stressors. I hope you enjoy the next two chapters! _

**Entry Eleven **

Dinner was about to be serve in a few moments, and so, all the guests got rounded up to the dining room. They all took their seats while the servants served drinks. For now, it was water but later would be wine. Sebastian helped his master and Lady Elizabeth to their seats. Of course, Ciel sat at the end of the table. He truly looked like the master of the household, a true leader Sebastian grew a small smirk. Ciel tried not to look.

"Thank you all for celebrating my eighteenth birthday. It was very kind of you." He glanced at Elizabeth then back at his guests. Elizabeth's blond hair had darken, and her eyes no longer in distress. She became a lady, no wonder Sebastian's master admired her. "I'd like to inform you all that…" he paused. Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "Even though Lady Elizabeth and I shared a kiss…" another pause.

"Master?" Sebastian quietly asked.

"Oh Ciel!" Elizabeth jumped up from her seat in excitement. Her green eyes dazzling. "Are we really?"

Ciel tilted his head slightly. "Are we what?"

The lady paused. Her head sunk down, picking at her pink dress. Her black gloves soon were taken off as she sat back down. "So…we…?" She didn't finish her sentence.

"We aren't marrying, Elizabeth!" Ciel stated. Sebastian kept quiet. His master stood up, Sebastian reached out but Ciel pulled away. "I don't love you, Elizabeth." The guests gasped.

One spoke up, "Then why did you share a kiss?"

"Secret love?" Another piped in.

"Or maybe there's another!"

Elizabeth's eyes started to water, getting upset from Ciel's rudeness. "Is that true?" Another lady? Who is she? A slave? Someone who is richer than I? Who?" her questions were full of hurt, disgust, and coming out rapidly. Sebastian had the servants bring out food while Claude assisted the lady Elizabeth out for a moment. Sebastian had everyone calm down as the food was being served.

"Everyone! Ladies and gentlemen!" he called out "Tonight for the first portion of your meal is a salad." Carefully, each plate was served. The eyes of Sebastian were on Ciel as Elizabeth joined once more. Ciel paid no attention to her arrival. The guests started eating and chatting. Claude stood by Sebastian, watching as the guests ate.

Sebastian leaned over. "How did you manage her to calm down?"

"Easy. I explained Ciel needs to learn not to deny his feelings and soon might come around," Claude explained smoothly. "I cannot say to her if he will confess his love to her."

"Did you say that there is another female he's in love with?"

Claude simply shook his head. "No but it was fun."

Sebastian blinked a few times. "What do you mean?" The guests had finished eating, so the servants replaced the salads with the main course meal. "For the main course we have fist fellate and chicken with rice!" Sebastian announced. He turned back to Claude. Ciel gave his raven butler a gaze. "Bring out the wine," he told Mey-rin. The maid nodded and went into the kitchen and brought it out to Sebastian. Claude nodded to Sebastian. The two both showed off by jumping over the table, pouring the wine into glasses. They were entertaining both Elizabeth and their master to make something sparkle. Sebastian sighed as he flipped through the air, in mid-air he poured the wine into Ciel's glass with his back facing the ground, and then landed close to Ciel's chair. The master only gave off a small, pathetic clap. The other guests, along with Elizabeth, were smiling and clapping with delight.

"Master, the wine," Claude said. Ciel nodded and placed the glass to his lips slowly. His lips slowly edging on the glass, tipping the wine glass up, his mouth opened, and the wine slowly drew into his mouth. His tongue filling with great taste of pleasure.

"How is it Ciel?" Elizabeth asked softly, afraid he might get mad at her for speaking. Claude went to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He leaned slowly down and whispered something in her ear. Sebastian narrowed his red eyes.

When Claude went back to Ciel's side, Ciel glanced up at the spider demon. His eyes were glaring. "What did you tell her?" he asked in a harsh whisper, pulling on Claude's tie. Claude bent forward with pleasure, smirking.

"Oh nothing of your business Master," Claude replied.

Ciel let go of the tie and stared down at his food. He slowly started eating while the other guests were already and chatting. Sebastian watched with concern as Ciel wasn't eating his normal speed, this was faster than the other times he ate.

"Master?" Sebastian asked softly. Ciel turned to his butler.

"What?" his voice was harsh.

"Slow down, you're going to choke," Sebastian said.

"No matter. No one would care anyways if I did," Ciel told him and kept eating fast. Sebastian made Ciel stand up, looking into his master's eyes.

"I do." Sebastian pushed a strain of Ciel's hair away to the side. Ciel blinked, his eyes widening.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Ciel's cheeks grew red.

"I was ashamed and scared to. I wasn't sure how you felt. Well, I soon found that out." Sebastian paused then whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"

Ciel smirked. "Sebastian, our whole life is a secret. Of course." Sebastian leaned into Ciel's ear.

"Follow me then Master…"


	12. Entry Twelve: Never Ending Passion

_This chapter, I'm sorry, is the last entry of Ciel's Diary. I had so much fun making this. This was very entertaining to watch all of you have meltdowns at the sadness and hurt of this story. Ciel's Diary might come back in the near future, for now, check my other stories "Addicted to You" and of course "Mariposes" (butterflies in Spanish). Love you guys, love my fans and readers! Enjoy :) _

**Entry Twelve**

Master and butler walked down the hallways of the mansion, almost hand in hand with each other. The two walked at the same pace then all of a sudden, Sebastian stopped. His arms wrapped around Ciel's body and swept the master off his feet into Sebastian's arms, carrying his young master to the secret place for his eighteenth birthday. Ciel looked up at his butler with confusion.

"Sebastian, where are we going?" Ciel asked as they went to a large painting that Ciel had never ventured to. Sebastian felt the painting with his fingertips then pressed on a corner of the painting. It turned right before Ciel's eyes. Sebastian walked inside the dark hallway, candles on the damp walls just barley lit the hallway for the two males. The butler made a left turn at a stop to either left or right. Ciel wanted to go right but there were no candles down that way. Ciel's blue eyes kept on straight to a large area up a head. He squinted his eyes at the brightness of it all.

"Welcome Ciel," Sebastian whispered, putting the master down on his own two feet. Ciel wobbled at first, surprised by the gesture.

"To where? Why is there a big bed in the corner with candles everywhere?" He noticed red satin curtains hanging on the walls of the room.

"Shhh Master," Sebastian said softly. "Happy birthday." He took Ciel's hand to the bed and the two sat down. Ciel laid on his back, relaxing for a moment. He waited for Sebastian to give his feet a massage so he closed his eyes. He sighed with happiness. The bed was soft as silk. He felt something hovering him so he opened his eyes to see what lied ahead of him.

"S-Sebastian!" He stuttered. Sebastian had loosened his tie so his white shirt underneath gave off a wide V-neck. His black butler's jacket was hanging on a chair across the room. Ciel peered down the widened white shirt for a sneak peek. There were muscles, abs, and just outlining of his whole body. Ciel felt his cheeks grow with the color of red. He also discovered a silver chain around his butler's neck.

"Ciel?" Sebastian's voice was in a soft and gentle whisper. His lips pressed against his master's cheek, holding Ciel close to him. His hands gripping on the back of Ciel's shirt, and only held Ciel tighter. The young master felt his head go into Sebastian's neck naturally.

"Yes Sebastian?" he whispered back.

"I…I cannot lose you…" He pulled his master away, tilted his head up, and their lips connected slowly and softly. Ciel's blue eyes widened with surprise and fear. Sebastian's eyes had softened then slowly closed. It became more usual routine for Ciel, so he, too, joined the kiss from Sebastian. The two felt their lips start to dance on one another's, feeling their hands move on their bodies. Each letting off a pleasure gasp from their lips when a hand moved up a chest or down.

"Please Master…" Sebastian's lips were now caressing down Ciel's neck, his undershirt and pants now on. Sebastian's white shirt was halfway unbuttoned already with pants unzipped.

"Sebastian…" Ciel moaned. His cheeks grew more with blush. He felt Sebastian's lips carry down his chest, feeling his master's small abs with his mouth. "You're embarrassing me…"

"How?" Their voices were in whispers and gentle. Each one gave the other a small shiver up the spine.

"Your abs compared to mine…" Ciel slowly stated. Sebastian gave off a grin with satisfaction.

"Have nothing to fear or to be embarrassed about young master." Sebastian's right hand with his pointed and thumb were now underneath Ciel's chin, then slowly, Sebastian kissed his young master again. When they pulled away, Sebastian reassured his master, "I'll be gentle."

This was it…

**He finally touched me in ways I would never have dreamed of. His lips so rough yet gentle with mine. His hands searched my body for something but only found my hands that were always searching for his. We each created a special bond that night. We never did anything more than feel each other's muscles and chest and kissing down the chest. He knew I wasn't ready for him yet. I love my butler, Sebastian. He knows it as well. That was the most amazing night I have ever had. Sebastian, I love you. Thank you for the wonderful birthday present. **

**Ciel Phantomhive **

* * *

_Note this, never forget there will be a Christmas special up hopefully soon, by December 2nd or 3rd of 2013. Love ya guys! Hoped you liked the ending! :) _


	13. Christmas Special UNFINISHED

**Christmas Special **

"Fa la la la la, 'tis the season…" Sebastian was hanging up Christmas decorations for the holidays and so he sang as he did. He did to keep himself in line. He knew his master wouldn't be into Christmas but he decided to make the mansion more presentable for everyone who came this holiday. Elizabeth would be coming, of course. Sebastian thought of her as he hung an ordainment on the tree. Just months ago at Ciel's birthday, she danced with him. Their lips had touched roughly. Then that night, Sebastian confessed to Ciel. Ever since, it hasn't been the same. Sebastian found new ways to make Ciel more happy and cheerful. "Good morning Mey-rin!" Sebastian greeted as some plates fell down on the floor. _Clumsy as ever_, he thought to himself.

"Aye, good morning Sebastian!" She greeted, picking the broken plates up. "I'll have myself in town in a few hours to get more plates." She blushed as she bowed. Sebastian knew she had a crush on him. Sebastian rolled up his sleeves, sighing.

"No need, there's extra in the kitchen in a cabinet." He watched her go. "And be careful!" he called out to her. "Of course you probably won't but worth a try."

"Sebastian!"

"Ah, Master!" Sebastian gave his maser a sweet innocent smile. "How are you this afternoon?" he walked towards Ciel, who had different colors on. His nails were black as well, being a demon now.

"Were you the one who was singing?" he asked, yawning softly.

"Yes Master, sorry about that. Just one of those days, need to keep singing!" Sebastian said.

"It's alright Sebastian, you know I love your singing." Sebastian smiled when he heard his master say that nice comment. He knew that his master didn't allow so much singing from anyone else so he used his right wisely. He continued decorating the mansion as Ciel watched. Soon enough, it finished with just Sebastian doing it. He sighed with relief when the mansion was decorated. He wasn't allowed to the past several years when Ciel was still mourning over his dead parents, which Sebastian never mentioned unless commanded to.

"Master? What do you think?" Ciel looked around in the main front room, he nodded. He then stepped into the dining hall, again another nod. Sebastian followed like a duckling to its mother. The master finally went to his room which wasn't decorated at all. Sebastian bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry Master, I have forgotten your room. I wasn't-"

He rose his hand to silence Sebastian. "No it is quite alright. I don't want it decorated with holiday cheer." His tone of voice gave off annoyance and sneered at the word "cheer". The demon butler watched in silence.

"Are you alright, sir?"

Ciel nodded. Sebastian knew his master was lying. Ciel looked at his butler, grimacing. "What?"

There was a long pause. Finally, Sebastian's hand ran through his jet black _(sexy)_ hair. "I know when you're lying to me. Your eyes grow a different shade of blue…" He took another pause.

"H-How do they turn a d-different color?" He nears his butler a little closer. Sebastian lays a hand on his master's cheek, smiling with his lips and eyes.

"Oh, they just do my young master." They lean close to each other, their lips barely brushing along each other's. Ciel's hands move to the other hand of Sebastian then wraps the other arm around his butler's neck. Sebastian gets pulled even closer so their lips touch. Sebastian's ears pierce at the sound of a high pitch scream. His red eyes go to the scream. The two pull away from the kiss, sighing.

"What is it Mey-rin?" Ciel asked in a harsh tone.

"Umm…I was just wondering how many guests will there be for your Christmas party?" she asked, having her hands over her nose with some blood going in between her fingers. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"We don't know exactly yet," Sebastian answered and shooed her away, taking Ciel into his arms. His eyes narrowed on the maid, his master's head in the crook of the butler's neck. Ciel settles into the embrace of the opening arms. Both take in each other's scents with pleasure. "Oh master, I wish I could keep you in my arms forever."

Ciel nods. "I do too. I have to go do something." He pulls away slowly. Sebastian looks at him with a shocked look.

"Where are you going?" Ciel starts leaving the room, Sebastian slowly follows. Ciel's hand going to the demon's chest, making direct eye contact.

"Stay here, Sebastian." Sebastian nods and goes to the dining hall then into the kitchen. He starts making dinner with only an hour to have. Bard is there, making soup which is already steaming with smoke. Sebastian sighs and keeps making the dinner of turkey with all sorts of foods. He finished 10 minutes before the first guests should arrive. He sets the table in a quick speed while Bard takes the bowls and fills them with the soup as the appetizer. Sebastian finishes then goes to the door as the first guest arrives. He opens the door with a fake smile.

"Welcome to the Phantomhive manor! Enjoy your Christmas party! My master will be with us by dinner." Sebastian bows to the ladies then notices Lady Elizabeth's carriage pull up. He opens the carriage door and takes on her giant hug. "Hello Lady Elizabeth!" He smiles again, fake once more. Elizabeth introduces her friends then goes inside with the other girls. Sebastian lets in the other guests, fake smiles, and receiving praise. He doesn't take any of it. Soon enough, he goes in when the guests all have arrived.

"My master will be down shortly…" He paused. Then he adds to himself, "Hopefully." He continued around the mansion to find Lady Elizabeth giving a tour to her friends. They were laughing and smiling. The butler smiled as he passed them to his master's room. He knocked.

"Who is it?"

"Master?"

"Oh, Sebastian. Come in." Sebastian opened the door and saw Ciel wrapping a box that was small and was in green wrapping paper. "Hello Sebastian. Have they all arrived?"

"All except you Master." Ciel nodded.

"I'll be there, I promise," he told his butler, smiling. Sebastian nodded then turned away and started walking out of the room. A few seconds after he closed the doors, he heard a loud crash. The doors flew back open.

"Master!" Sebastian's red eyes frantically searched the room for his master in worry. "Master! Master?" There was no sign of Ciel anywhere in the room, Sebastian felt foolish but he looked underneath the master's bed. He knelt beside the bed, hiding his face in his arms. "Master…" His red eyes glanced over to the nightstand with the journal he hadn't read in months. "Huh?" He sat on the master's bed and picked up the book, smiling as he led his fingertips down the engraved letters once more. He slowly turned the cover page and flipped through today's date or yesterday's date. "He wrote in it, today? I wonder where he could have gone…"

He started to read the journal entry.

Christmas Day

I just wrapped Sebastian's present, eager for him to open it after when everyone has gone off from the party or fell asleep in random places in my mansion. Anyways, I really hope he'll like it. I just need one more thing before it can be fully complete, a special flower that's rare around my mansion but I noticed them the other day on my walk with him. He didn't see me take a sneak peek, he was too busy rubbing at a cat's paws to realize what I was doing. He's different in some ways but I still love my Sebastian. To carry on, I'm going to disappear without a trace, having him think I was captured. I have such an evil plan, I feel like a true demon, especially on Christmas. I just hope my Sebastian will forgive me, I have a deep feeling he may or may not. I'm not quite sure without knowing so far. Well, I'll continue later when he opens his present.

Sincerely,

Ciel Phantomhive

"Master!" Sebastian gasped as he read the entry, glaring at the opened window. He noticed that Ciel had knocked down some things off the dresser to make it look like someone did capture him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Later That Night~*~*~*~*~*

"Sebastian! It's getting freezing and too cold out here!" Bard said, shielding his face from the blistering cold. Sebastian turned and glared.

"You go back while I look for young master!" He called out to them. He kept going into the falling snow. It started to quicken with a faint cry for help therefore the butler began to run as fast as he could, flying through the trees. He got to a clearing with no snow with green grass and a couple birds chirping. "Huh?" He looked around.

_**That's all I made it to, sorry for not finishing this SO SORRY. I got caught up with a lot of school crap etc. Anyways, thank you for reading this. I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging like this but when I wrote this, I had an idea of what I was going to do but then lost it when I came back to it. Sorry my fans, be mad at me, write angry reviews, etc. **_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**DarkHallows1000**_

_**P.S. I still have my other fan fictions XD**_


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